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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I sit down, and this guy next to me starts talkin’ about the local football team. Apparently, they’re in the finals or somethin’. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the beer.” But he’s so pumped, I can’t help but get into it. We’re high-fivin’ and shoutin’ like we’re best buds.